#First30Challenge - Singleness


a topic of conversation at every Friday Happy Hour, Saturday kickback and Sunday brunch. It almost goes without saying but i’ll say it anyway — we are in a really interesting (and when I say interesting I mean it kind-of sucks) time of dating right now and you don’t need me to tell you that social media and “this day and age” has a lot to do with it. I’ve never been the person to talk too much about my relationships but as I am learning and evolving more as a woman, I realize that every season in your life has a purpose and if you do not take the time to discover that purpose you will not have the critical tools you will need to propel you into the next phase.

What you bring to a relationship is who you are as a single person. Obvious, I know but there are levels to it. You will not get into a relationship and all of a sudden be a another person. Nope, what happens is your carry-on and two checked bags troll right into that relationship with you.

Here is the Kicker:

If you as a single person are not whole, you CANNOT expect to be made whole in a relationship.

Here is the Question:

How are you spending your singleness? Worrying about being single? Wishing you had a partner, hating on other people in relationships? — WRONG, my friend.

Here is the Plot Twist:

Are you volunteering? Developing meaningful friendships? Educating yourself? Practicing self-love? Building an unwavering relationship with God?

This is ACTUALLY the point of singleness, not to sit around and talk about the big house you and your spouse will have or how cute y’all will look holding hands at the mall. Now, its’ not to say you guys won’t look amazing in your matching flannels but who are you as an individual?

“Before you seek a guy or girl, you need to be on board with God. Before you marry a mate, you need to meet your maker, because it’s in the stability of walking with him that have the resources to be a blessing to one another. We have to be connected to a source of life if we are going to be a source of life, “ - Ben Stuart.

Without intentional purpose as a single person, you will not be ready for a relationship…I sure wasn’t.

Check out my highlighted notes from the book Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart, throughout the challenge. It has been an incredible resource in the preparation process and awareness in my own life and I hope it blesses you the same! More to come on this topic people but in the meantime — don not get distracted by ”this day and age” kind of dating, what do you want for YOUR future relationship?

Do the work. 
Discover your pain. 
Heal it. 
Discover your brilliance. 


Get a relationship with God.


Before you marry a mate, you need to meet your Maker.

How do I feel loved by God?


What we want in the moment is not always best.


Singleness is a gift.


He is calling us.