I want to tell you a story.
In October of last year, my car got towed. I remember standing there and starring at the spot where my car was supposed to be — feeling frozen. After about 45 seconds, I looked up to see the same sign I saw a few hours before that told me I could park there in the first place and nothing had changed. As far as I could read (I definitely debated if I was loosing my mind or sight in that moment) I was able to park there so, “WHERE DID MY CAR GOOOO?”
Crazy enough (and by Gods grace), I had met a new friend earlier that evening that happened to have connections to the police department, so I called her for help. She found out that my car had been towed because of my expired registration. When she let me know I thought, "wow, after all this time, this is how it ends.”
I moved to LA in 2014 and although, I thought about it SEVERAL times, I never registered my car in California. The first two years, I thought, “I’ll do it soon.” And then by the end of the third year I thought, “well I’ve gotten away with it for this long, do I really need to worry anymore?” At the same time, I subconsciously buried my thoughts of “am I really going to live in LA that long anyway?” If anyone asked, I would always say, “LA is my home,” but I hadn’t put 100% of my actions behind that.
I was scared to commit. Really commit. Like live in LA and make it official that I lived in LA even though I already lived in LA scared to commit -_-
Around Year 4, I started to panic because my Texas registration had officially expired. At this point, it was either register in California, or drive my car back to Texas to re-register. Inevitably, I choose to do nothing. I just kept riding it out. Never thinking that by the end of year 4 and before year 5, the decision would be made for me. At the time, I didn’t feel like committing. I would kinda-try, and kinda- do something but ultimately, I waited too long to do anything at all.
“...if you’re like I used to be you avoid choosing anything at all. You aim to keep your options open as long as possible. You avoid commitment. But while investing deeply in one person, one place, one job, one activity might deny us the breadth of experience we’d like, pursuing a breath of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience,” — Mark Manson.
Although in the moment committing or making a decision sounded impossible, NOT making a decision was actually the worse choice and standing in the spot where my car used to be in the middle of Beverly Hills was proof.
I definitely didn’t write this post to give you all the answers or to ACT like I have all the solutions, I wrote this post to say I get it. Commitment can be challenging, paralyzing even. Commitment requires us to step up, to elevate and to trust. But when we choose not to move at all ultimately we are telling ourselves and God, we don’t trust the process and we don’t trust HIM. Bummer right? Wasn’t your intention I’m sure.
There will always be things we feel are "too hard” along the way BUT I’m challenging myself and you to TRUST. Trust the commitment, trust the decision and trust yourself. Along with the pages below from “The Subtle Art…” I wanted to give you a few key verses in the Bible that remind me WHY making a decision is the right decision. #CoveredByHISGrace
If you wander off the road to the right or the left, you will hear his voice behind you saying, “Here is the road. Follow it.” (Isaiah 30:21)
You may make your plans, but God directs your actions. (Proverbs 16:9)
But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all. (James 1:5)
Thanks for reading, thanks for riding this wave of the process with me, would love to hear from you, leave your comments below xoxo.
“Consumer Culture is very good and making us want more, more, more.”
“..there is freedom and liberation in commitment.”
“Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.”